STONEHENGE

Six characters, 4 male, 3 female, or could be 3 male, 3 female.

Playing time: 10-15 minutes

Available from the author.

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We are in the Conference Room for a meeting of the Construction Sub-Committee of the Stone Circles Development Company. Progress is limited until the arrival of a flatpack-salesman from Sweden...

Ug Please, no. Now, what I want to know is, what's happened to those bluestones? I ordered them from Wales two weeks ago.

Oof You can't get stones from Wales overnight. It's not like going to Argos. You don't just check the catalogue, go to the till and wait for someone to bring them up and call out your number. These stones have to be specially ordered, specially cut, and... (deep breath) … delivered. It takes time bringing them from Wales. Maybe months.

Jug Maybe years.

Oof And you have to be in on the right day to receive the delivery.

Ug Well, all right, but it shouldn't take that long. It's not rocket science.

Oof What's rocket science?

Ug That's a good question. But it doesn't matter what rocket science is because that's what it isn't. Moving on to Item Three. The dimensions of the outer ditch.

Marg Screw the outer ditch. I've got a new design for the inner circle.

Ug Really? I thought we'd agreed that last time.

Marg It's a new system. I'll show you.

Artwork by Simon Bond