Aladdin

Full-length pantomime

Available from the author.

Click here to request further details or to order a free reading copy.
Playing-time: about two hours excluding interval.

Songs: there are some suggestions, including some old favourites with new lyrics provided.

There is also a Reduced Version of this script (for a smaller cast). See details at the bottom of this page.

Yes, it's the traditional story with the Cave, the Genie, and a Magic Carpet. Wishee-Washee wants to make a fortune by selling coats made from his fr-tree. Aladdin wants to make a fortune selling pizzas. And then the Emperor reveals that he has eaten a bad pizza and that pizzas are now illegal. Four policemen called Hou, You, Mee and Him cause confusion – as do two courtiers called Lord Bao (Bow) and Lady Kurt-Zee. Fairy Chopsticks ensure that all ends happily.

Characters:
Chow Mein, Emperor of China
Chop Suey, Empress
Princess Spring Roll, their daughter Abanazar, not a nice person
Widow Twankey, a laundrywoman Aladdin ) her sons
Wishee Washee )
Fairy Chopsticks
Genie of the Lamp
Hou )
You ) police-
Mee ) men
Him )
Lord Bao, an important courtier
Lady Kurt-Zee, another important courtier Foo Yung ) Princess's
Dim Sum ) handmaids
Egyptian Mummy
Voice from the Cave
Creatures in the Cave (dancers) Residents of Peking

Script extract:
Emperor: Who's in charge here?
Hou: Yes, sir.
Emperor: What do you mean? Yes, sir? I said, Who's in charge? Hou: Yes, sir.
Empress: Are you being impertinent?

Hou: No, ma'am.
Empress: Then tell me which of you is in charge.
Hou: I am, Ma'am.
Empress: Then why didn't you say so?
Hou: I did.
You: Let me explain, Ma'am. His name's Hou. So when you say, Who's in charge? well, Hou is.
Empress: (uncertainly) Hou is?
You: Hou is.
Empress: And who are you?
You: I'm You.
Empress: You're me?
You: No, no. This is Me.
Empress: This is you?
Mee: No, no. I'm Mee.
Empress: (indicating Him) And who is this?
Him: I'm Him.
Empress: (indicating Mee) You're him?
Him: No, I'm Him.
Emperor: What are you talking about? I want to know, who's in charge?
You: Hou is, sir.
Emperor: I wish you'd stop saying that.
Bao: I think I understand this, Your Majesty. Shall I take charge? Right - you and you –
Hou: No. You and Hou, sir –
Bao: You and who?
Hou: Yes. You and Hou.
Mee: And Mee and Him.
Bao: And You and Him.
Him: No. Mee and Him. Or rather, Mee and me.
Kurt-Zee: You and you?
Him: No. Mee and me.
Mee: That's right. Me and Him.
Bao: Well, you, all of you -
Kurt-Zee: Whatever your names are -
Bao: (uncertainly) You are all responsible for ensuring that the streets of Peking are free from pizzas. Anyone selling pizzas is to be arrested on sight. Is that clear?
Hou and You: (together) Yes, Sir.
Emperor: We're counting on you.
Hou: And Hou.
Mee: And Mee.
Him: And me too.
Emperor: Exactly. The streets of Peking must be made safe again. It's a very important job!
Empress: The Emperor is quite right. For once. No more pizzas!
Emperor: (aside, to audience) I do like a dominating woman.

Reduced Version also available.

Same story, same jokes.

Reduced cast of six, with some doubling of roles.

Contact the author as above for further details.